My Little Black Book of Thoughts

Grace has MOVED!

2008-08-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

Hey fellow readers:

I have moved to http://grace-ious.blogspot.com/ :D

See you there!

-Gracie-

Something to think about

2008-08-19T05:31:00.000-07:00

Behind the corpse in the reservoir, behind the ghosts in the links,
Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks,
Under the look of fatique, the attack of migraine and the sigh
There is always another story, there is more than meets the eye.

W.H. Auden

I love it. I loved it once I saw it and I love it more right now.

It's so easy for us to judge someone and yet so hard for us to be as quickly to love. This, is an amazing reminder that hey, you have your reasons, your story on why you are the way you are - and it's so important for us to be reminded that other people do too...you're not the only one who has gone through some hard time.

I'm guilty of the judging as well - sometimes, when I see those who throw themselves madly into work (which includes me, ironically), I somehow believe that "hey, I won't be like that next time".

There's always a reason why people are the way they are.
There's always a reason why they choose to live life the way they're living it now.

I would love to hear the stories, if only they would tell them to me.

The jogoya trip

2008-08-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

Critics Note: the food was good :) but sadly not great.

Grace moment: I loved the coconut (pic/photo above) and went around hunting for it - I asked the cook and he pointed to where the bathroom area was (I, not knowing the coconuts are actually really situated on the way to the washroom) thought he didn't know english and ignored him. =.="

Oh wells, it was this great experience since I was given directions by **eh hem** a guy who led me to anywhere else but the restaurant. My lack of direction sense really didn't help the matter.

We got there thanks to Amanda! (my wonderful gps system that breathes) :D

Being Random

2008-08-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

LoL.

A nice pic of me and my MGT group members @ the curve.

=)

(we were supposed to be observing logos - we finished early and observed the logos even closer! (the logos of the restaurants on the napkins) =>)

Have a great week!

The Present

2008-06-15T01:11:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working for 12 hours a day from Monday to Thursday – and rewarded myself with ‘Jogoya’ yesterday :D - will be posting up some pics soon...honestly, I'm a bit too lazy at the moment.

Having been reading a fascinating book by Michael Koh, I can’t help but agree on his views concerning time – something that I myself am guilty of at times – not living the moment.

I think it was the worst last week – somehow, I just wasn’t into the present – my mind was at work when I was at home or having heart to hearts with my friends and family and my mind was distracted while I was working.

It’s refreshing to be reminded that the present – now, this moment, this day, this minute – is not called a gift for nothing  and living life simply means embracing it to the fullest (and being thankful that it’s given to you!)

A thousand miles away

2008-05-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

The KLIA lights have long fadded away from my sight. I remember the sound of laughter, the joy and excitement of a new chapter in life mingled with possible apprehension about what would come. I was never the one who was holding a boarding pass and carrying 3 luggages and numerous hand carries but it was always written on their faces - and my turn would soon be coming when I would be the one frazzled and nervous and excited and...perhaps one can never be fully ready for the goodbyes and farewells.

I miss you already.

It's amazing how missing someone makes you feel and how constant it can be. I know so many people that I simply never stop missing - the feeling is always there - thank God for technology nowadays but it's still not the same.

I hate farewells.

Thankful

2008-04-24T03:41:00.000-07:00

I had so many topics on my mind to post about (i.e. I wanted to write a review on '27 dresses' as well as 'P.S. I love you', I wanted to blog about something totally random) but now that I'm in front of my computer (having been down with fever and flu), I feel too thankful to talk about anything else than how totally awesome He has been to me.

It had happened like any other internship search I had been on - some companies will call you back and some don't - but my internship/part time job search was different than all the others I had been on - because this time, it was personal.

I wanted an internship with a company (which I will not name due to obvious reasons of how easy it is for blog entries to come up on Google search), I'll call it Company B. I wanted an internship with this really reputable company because of so many reasons:

1. The company’s name would look awesome on my resume
2. It was a short distance from my house (relatively short, anyway)
3. I really respected the values on which the company stood for….and the list goes on…

When things started going wrong with someone of certain authority in the company, I was so hopping around, annoyed (you might or have not heard my incessant ranting on the subject – if you have, I offer my sincere apologies – I was really acting like a child). While I was extremely frustrated with Company B as well as being in the middle of my exams, I placed in an application for Company A – a half-hearted effort at most, unmotivated by the fact that this company was much less reputable than the previous company I had once had the blessing of interning for.

Company A incessantly contacted me and with a telephone interview by my now-manager, I was in – I got the internship – and the pay was…awesome.

It goes to show how shallow my thinking can be – I kept thinking that Company B had everything to offer me, but I am having a blast at Company A. I’m so thankful to God for simply knowing what I wanted more than I ever will. He truly knows what my heart's desires.

Sometimes I just forget.

I’m glad that He never fails to remind me that He loves me.

Him

2008-04-16T05:20:00.000-07:00

She knew she had committed an unforgivable act, even as she lay upon the bed next to the man she had spent the night with. A man she was with more than her own husband. ‘Unforgivable’. She felt a chill run through her body. The sun had begun its assent but she only felt certain emptiness in her soul. This was not the first time she had committed this very act, but dread never felt as real as it did to her now. She started as she heard loud and harsh banging on the door.

The men shouted to be let in. Beside her, he stirred and his eyes opened as the shouting ensued. “They’re here, the Pharisees, they’re here” he began rambling frantically, at that moment and the Pharisees and scribes barged into the room, their eyes fell upon the pair on the bed.

The men looked at her with such judgment and malice, but she hardly felt any shame.

They spat insult upon insult at her as they dragged her through the streets, barely clothed except for the linen on her bed which she successfully grabbed and wrapped around her body before they had seized her like a criminal. “She will die today” she heard one of the men say to another, “it was just a matter of time before she was caught in this despicable act”.

She welcomed the thought of death though it frightened her. She deserved it; she deserved the stones that would be hurled at her.

They brought her to the temple and she saw a man, in the midst of thousands – that the Pharisees and scribes were now dragging her to. They set her in the midst of the crowd and she felt the heat from the eyes of the people who saw her – some of whom she knew and some of who she didn’t. She held the cloth closer to her body, she realized that death by stoning by these thousands of people would indeed be the punishment that she would face – and die from, she didn’t want to imagine what it would feel like – she had seen it being done before and the blood and piercing of stones into flesh was ingrained into her mind.

“Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do you say?”

She did not dare to look at the man they Pharisees spoke to; He had a presence about him that caused her to feel so saddened by her own indiscretions that her eyes remained on the temple floor. She had long forgotten what shame felt like till now.

The crowds looked at Him expectedly, awaiting his approval.

He remained silent.

He had now stooped down on the ground. She could barely see what he was doing but he acted as if he did not hear the men who were now getting more and more impatient with his silence. The crowds were now slowly turning into an angry mob, thirsty for her death. Caught. In. The. Act. She was unforgivable.

She expected the man to spit at her like the others, or look at her with distain, but when she lifted her eyes a fraction she saw something in His that would remain with her till the day she died.

When the Pharisees and scribes continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”

His words resonated in the air with power and authority; He had stooped down and was writing on the ground again. The temple fell as silent as a tomb, the words seemingly having frozen everyone in their place.

She felt a stir inside of her, she knew what she saw in the man’s eyes – it was pure love, he was the only person in the room who did not see her as an adulterer, a cheater, a liar, a sinner – but he saw…he saw her. It was a feeling so overpowering she wanted to kneel down and cry. He saw her. Who was this man that He felt for her, even when she was utterly unworthy of any love, any form of compassion?

She braced herself for the first stones that would be hurled at her.

Then, she noticed movement – the men, they Pharisees, the scribes, the angry mob, they had all begun to leave one by one– soon, they had all gone from the temple.

He raised Himself up and saw no one but her.

“Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” He asked, there wasn’t an ounce of sarcasm, anger, or judgment, in His voice.

“No one, Lord” she managed to choke out, feeling the well of tears that would explode from her at any moment now. ‘Forgiven’, she was forgiven.

“Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” It was at that very moment that she knew who He was and it was that moment that changed her forever.

(Taken and adapted from John 8:1-11, NKJV)

The Jane Austen Book Club Review :)

2008-04-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

Having watched many, many, many romantic movies, I found ‘the Jane Austen book club’ rather refreshing and sweet. I have to admit that I’m a big fan of Jane Austen and although the movie can never, in my opinion, rival ‘Pride and Prejudice’, it was a movie of it’s own kind – and reminds me very much of ‘Love Actually’.

I adored how the movie was segregated into months and in total, was a span of a year instead of a day or a month (don’t worry, I won’t spoil the movie for you…too much), it made the romances so much sweeter – from my point of view  because seriously, I don’t believe in absolute ‘love at first sight’. The timing was perfect to form solid friendships and gave the development of the plot of the movie enough time to expand to its full potential.

I love analyzing movies like this simply because there’s so much to talk about. I wish I could be able to ‘spill the beans’ in order to convey how wonderful it was to watch such a movie after many disappointments, especially, in looking for a good romance movie.

I think I have a thing for ‘Griggs’, he’s so charming throughout the movie that it’s almost impossible not to be drawn in by is quirkiness. I really likes how his character played out and I don’t think I liked Hugh Dancy as much as I do now!

My exams are coming up next Monday and here I am ranting and raving about a certain black haired charmer in a movie…I’m glad it was a wonderful diversion from Accounting (which I have been slogging though revising the whole day). Perhaps my opinion of the movie has escalated seeing as it was compared to… numbers… Oh well, I hope you guys go and watch this movie – and let me know if you found it was delightful as I did.

-Going back to numbers and formats again- tata!

Amazing ...simply amazing

2008-02-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

This video - which is only about 5 minutes, moves me everytime I see it - enjoy! :)

To be absolutely honest...

2008-01-14T02:10:00.000-08:00

I wonder if I'll ever be the person who I aspire to be...I know it's a process - to become better, wiser, stronger, more independent, more loving, more patient...but really - is it a circle where we start at one point and end up at the exact same place when we think "finally, I'm at my destination".

Just a thought.

Something Random

2008-01-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

Here is one of the coolest pic I've taken =) (Yes, I do feel very proud of myself!)
Look at the lighting! It was mainly due to the camera but it gave the photo such a cool effect.

Photography captivates my attention at times - so do tons of other things but there's something so amazingly true about a picture being worth a thousand words, isn't there?
I was really intrigued when I read a story which (was written on Fictionpress.com) stated that a photo (of people and from what I gather, anything at all - even objects) isn't just about the subject(s) but it is also about the photographer :). I guess it relates more to abstract photography or photographs that are taken with certain...interest? intention? passion? I can't find the right word or the right way to say it, but I simply mean to say - not the kind of photos you take because it is required of you.

You can call me easily amused...cause I am! How I envy those of you who have the knowledge and skills to take awesome and breathtaking photographs...

Lol, thanks for sending me this, Tien Wen - and thanks for letting me use your camera!

Live. Laugh. Love

2007-12-30T12:07:00.000-08:00

YC Camp 1 and 2 was totally awesome. I'm really glad I got to spend 8 incredible days at Peacehaven! Here are the pics :)

The 4 Awesome people who helped me out with the Newcomers' Booth
for YC Camp 1.
Top Row: Raechan, Me, Gloria Bottom Row: Evyonne and Shern I.

Amanda, Sharon, Me and Yuen Wei (my quirky and pretty distant relative)

Jolene, Me, Sharon and Amanda

I took photos with an Angel! (Ok, that sounds a little lame ><")

Ms. Serena and the 3 Musketeers.

4 Feet and the log.
I really like this photo. Guess which foot is mine!

Prickyla and I :) (she reminds me of a tiny, tiny bit of Alvin and the

Chipmunks ^^" - Prisc, please don't kill me for this)

Roxanne.

The Rose among the Thorns.

Starting from the top row, left to right: Joelle, Prisc and Bernard.
Bottom row: Me, Rose and Sharon.

Esther, my roommate of 4 days. She looks super sweet in this pic!

PJ 2, CG Photo. The 'proper' one. lol.

Top row: Jolene, Amanda, Christian, Bernard and Patrick.

Bottom row: Me, Karyn, Stacey and Cheryl.

PJ 2, CG Photo. The 'poser' one.

We're all posers ^^.

PJ 2, CG Photo. The 'finger-pointing' one.

Find the person who is pointing at herself :P.

I absolutely love grayscaled photos.

So pretty!

Cheryl, Me and Jolene.

Ali's son and I.

Jack and I.

This photo turned out way too dark ><.

It's supposed to be Johan and I but ... it probably doen't look like I'm in the pic.

Photo failure #1.

Racheal and I

Patrick and I.

Ariel and I.

She reminds me so much of The Little Mermaid!

Sin Ying and I.

She can blow baloons into baloons!

This is what happens to those who disobey camp rules.

Locked up with the visiting hours displayed on the top right hand corner of the photo.

The offenders will not be named ^^. lol.

I promised them not to upload the pic on facebook...

blogged it instead :).

Fresh Air.

Shern Ai, Allison, Raechan and I.

Junk Food Stash brought by Rose and some by me.

Cookies, Coffee, Chips, Instant soup, etc - you name it,

we probably have it.
Pic is taken just as camp started. lol. Most of the food was gone after 8 days!

Same Food, Different Location. ><.

Fiona and I.

After 8 days without being able to drive out whenever I wanted to and with the lack of sleep - I was and am glad to be back in the city of Kuala Lumpur.

Till next year, peeps!

Check This Out!

2007-12-24T04:33:00.000-08:00

I found this on Chin Wah's blog and thought it was really cool! :) Try it out and see what your results are...

I'm back from Peacehaven and I'm as happy as can be - Merry Christmas, everybody!

Christmas...

2007-12-15T05:38:00.000-08:00

It's been 2 crazily hectic weeks for me, till now - and tomorrow, I will leave for a church camp at Genting for 8 days. This means that I will be posting my next post earliest by next Sunday if not later :). I am quite eager to just getaway from the city and the hectic lifestyle of KL residents. To take a deep breath and just relax...it's been such a long time since I went on a trip - too long, in my opinion.

The past 2 weeks have been spent tutoring the girl I spoke about in my 2 previous posts as well as going to and from church and cramming my Christmas shopping into 2 days. I didn't get much shopping done though - barely managed to buy a gift for each of my family members (i.e. mom, dad, brothers etc) and here I am, leaving till Christmas Eve! I hope the 24th of Dec will not be too crazy a time to do last minute shopping. I can only cross my fingers!

I visited a community centre during these two weeks and my mind still reels from just knowing how truly blessed I am. These children, who are so close to my home (geographically), have such different demographics than I do...even as Christmas is approaching so soon, I can't help feeling that I just have not helped enough.

It's so easy to complain, to speak of injustice and just whine sometimes that I forget about those who are happy just to be able to buy textbooks and go to school...and those who don't even make it to college not because they aren't smart or hardworking enough, but because of the environment and family condition they live in. This is when I feel it really is unfair - unfair that they pull through circumstances that come their way - happily and not acting like a child about the whole thing. They do it because they don't have a choice which sometimes makes me question if choice itself is a blessing or a curse.

Love. That's what Christmas means to me.

Mother Teresa says it in one sentence when she stated, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love" and also, "Intense love does not measure, it just gives.”

I find it a struggle sometimes to just give the best part of me to someone who does not want it or even care - but that's love, isn't it? When the only thing that matters is to give. I look up to Mother Teresa so much - she's not perfect, far from it, but she loved - with all 50 years of her life in India. That's beauty, that's what love is.

I sometimes find it so hard to tie together the idea of romantic love to simply loving because, to me, the difference should not be that extreme. If love is about giving, why do some guys choose to simply take from their girlfriends or vise versa? Why crush one another when love should build a person up and not tear him or her down? Why choose to be selfish and to just get what you want and leave scars, and cuts, and bruises that will always be on the person you once proclaimed undying love for?...and if so...why say it's love anyway? Why lie about an emotion that is so profound?

There are times I feel that the word 'Love' - a feeling so intense, pure, and almost sacred - has become tainted and overused to a point that it has come to mean too little to so many people. To me:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. (Taken from1 Corinthians 13:4-8, The Message)

You don't have to agree with me but this is what I think is the perfect definition of love. The sentence that struck me the most is that Love 'always looks for the best' - and I see that in my parents - towards each other and towards my two brothers and me. They never fail to be our biggest 'cheerleaders' in the sense that they cheer us on - when we sometimes just lose the strength to get going :).

Love doesn't limit itself to an individual - but extends to all that the person holds dear - anyone and anything. It's hard work but at the end of the day, the wrinkles on the face of my parents are because of working so hard to make my life to be easier. It's in the moments that I'm most unaware of (like a late night chat with my mom or dad) that I realize and am reminded that I have hardly ever seen anyone more beautiful than them.

ELL Students (Part 2)

2007-12-10T03:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, this isn't a post..mostly just a questions:

If you're writing an English composition, is it safer to write it in the past tense or present tense?

=)
I told my student past tense, am I wrong?

ELL Students

2007-12-09T05:39:00.000-08:00

I’ve grown up in a mostly English speaking home, alternating from English to Cantonese depending on who I was talking to (my grandmother, who is Hakka, is unable to communicate in English).

It’s so easy for me to take these things for granted – the English language, that is. I’ve had little problems reading, writing, understanding and basically just using the language. Today, at my very first tutoring session with an ESL (English as a Second Language) student, I guess I finally realized that, it really is difficult for certain students to even put together a sentence in English, much less a paragraph or an essay.

I’ve never tutored English before, till now, and my student is hardworking and really eager to learn – I’m totally lying to say that I’m not scared. I asked her to write me 2 essays the previous week and upon reading them today, (there were certain spaces in her essays which she filled with Chinese characters – she didn’t know how to translate her thoughts into written English), I realized that I had taken on a challenge bigger than I had initially given it credit for.

I conducted the entire lesson in Cantonese, mostly not wanting to pressure her into speaking in English at the moment. Her vocabulary is very limited but she could speak english - Manglish, mostly.

I am excited, to teach her, to improve, and learn along with her – but among those positive and optimistic thoughts, buried within are certain worries, fears and anxiousness that I wouldn’t be able to teach her everything I want to. I want her to be able to master the language, am I being too optimistic? Too naive?

I looked through about a dozen websites at 3am this morning, seeking advice on how to teach ESL students and some of the great websites I found are listed below: (you can look if you’re interested for any reason at all)

For more advanced ESL Students:
http://www.rong-chang.com/
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/tutor/problems/esl.shtml

For beginner ESL Students:
http://www.bnkst.edu/literacyguide/ell.html

I passed her a Sweet Valley book, a rather simple (and non-threatening) one where they’re still in middle school. I guess, to me, reading is a must if a person wants to improve their written and spoken English.

I have so many thoughts swimming in my head at the moment – I really appreciate any feedback at all on how to improve or make my one- on-one tutoring lessons more effective.

The First Post

2007-12-06T05:59:00.000-08:00

I checked out a few blogs just to check out how I should go about this... post a first post, that is, and decided on '10 things about me that you might not know':

I sleep with my lights on (because I'm uncomfortable with sleeping in the dark - I force myself to sleep in the dark during sleepovers so that people don't know I'm afraid of the dark - lol).
I don't really know how to go about moving a level up from being acquaintances to becoming friends ( I usually end up leaving it to 'other person' to take more initiative cause I'm lacking in this department, it feels awkward for me).
I'm terrified of bugs. (Since I don't have any pets), nothing, besides from me, should be living (or alive) in my room (this usually includes anything with more than 2 legs - including lizzards).
I would sleep outside on my living room couch if I was really freaked out by any creepy crawlies in my room (sad, but true).
I like to constantly tell my family (including my 2 brothers, my sis-in-law, my parents and my grandma) that I love them :)
I like the rain. It's so calming - unless I have to run in it!
I haven't gotten around to watching T.V for the past 3 years (I can't help it! I stopped Astro in form 5 and never got around to getting hooked on it ever again...so most probably, if you're talking about Desperate Housewives or Prison Break and I just smile - I have no idea what you're talking about).
I love watching movies (I have an entire collection of chick flicks). I guess this makes up of my lack of T.V. exposure.
I'm terrible with directions. I just cannot fathom how some people (like my mom), can have the entire map of KL in their mind.
This is the first post I've written in my life (of 20 years). I have been deprived :)